pastor darlene

“a group called Vision Forum and their leader Doug Phillips”

The most alarming thing about Doug Phillips and others like him is that there are still people who actually think he is a voice for God and is promoting “God’s will.” I have counseled dozens of women who have been subjected to horrible abuse by their husbands and fathers all in the name of “submission.”

The Lord can and does heal the wounds, but many carry the “scars of reminder” for the remainder of their lives.

Thanks for sharing this great post.

I don’t think God called Abigail to go against her husband, she was just wise enough to realize her foolish husband was going to get all of them killed. She didn’t tell him what she was doing. But I do not interpret this as going against him, just being wiser than him.

Cheryl, I am by nature not super submissive at all. I am thankful the Holy Spirit has been working on that issue in my life. I agree with you that Michal’s contempt towards the way David worshipped God does not show support. I could have become like a Michal if God had not begun a great work in my life. (Though she was treated like a piece of property being married off to 2 different husbands, and having to deal with other wives of David’s)
I think we are saying almost the same thing. God does not need to ask my husbands permission to use me in ministry, but like yours, he brought him to a place of acceptance of this call. I have a bit of concern when anyone says that “God called me” and my spouse isn’t in agreement. I am deeply grieved when there is a divorce over this. I have encountered people who weren’t really called by God and were not willing to listen to the concerns and cautions their spouse was trying to give to them and then just said, well I guess God called me and not them. This is my concern, God ordained marriage as a covenant, God would not override a covenant. Married people need to be in a great deal of prayer together over this. God will answer and either clarify and confirm, or clarify and diminish the idea. Either way, a heart is changed and unity is obtained.

In my particular case, the praying took several years before the call was clarified and confirmed and it was strong in both of us.

Cheryl you asked,
…Can God choose to use a woman in ministry without first consulting with her husband? Must a woman’s spiritual decisions be filtered through her husband?

I would like to respond to your question with my own situation.

Yes!!! God can choose to use whomever to serve the Kingdom of God, male and female.
Did God consult with my husband first? I really don’t know! I’m not sure who God spoke to first.
Did my spiritual decision filter through my husband? Yes!
The reason being, when I entered into the covenant of marriage the two of us became one. God does not call just an individual if they are married. The call affects the entire family. God also called Abraham, it affected Sarah. God confirmed the call/promise to Abraham by giving Sarah a Child. Mary was betrothed to Joseph, but they had not entered into the covenant of marriage, yet. However, God also spoke to Joseph and confirmed that what was within Mary was conceived by the Holy Spirit.
God spoke to my husband also and confirmed that what was conceived within me was also from the Holy Spirit. This was my call to ministry. It was God’s call, which then was placed in the heart of my husband (albeit over the course of several years). I had to wait and trust (like Abraham) that God would place this in my husband’s heart as well. I have seen the same thing occur when God calls the husband and has to confirm with the wife.
God will never contradict. When two people join in a marital covenant, the two become one, this is God’s plan. What God has joined together, no one can separate. God will not violate this. I believe God desires that believing spouses filter all spiritual decisions through one another. It is mutual submission. I made this a commitment 23 years ago, when I gave up my individual “rights” to become his wife. He gave up his “rights” when he became my husband. I will always submit to the wisdom of my husband and filter spiritual decisions through him as he loves me and will always pray and seek God’s will for me.
My two cents.