Cheryl Schatz

Lin,

Here is an example for Mark that Cheryl and I can disagree. I disagree with this because in Eph 5, the teaching starts earlier with we must be filled with the Spirit and then that we must all submit to one another. I do not see any command that one initiates first. If there is one, I would love to see it.

I don’t think that the Bible commands that one initiates submission first for either gender. I think that is equal. But I do see a responsibility for men to sacrifice first and Jesus loved and sacrificed for his Bride. If we take Jesus and His bride as a symbol of the husband and wife, it does seem to me that she loves Him because He first loved her and sacrificed for her. I don’t see any indication of God going to the church and saying that if we just loved Jesus more, He would treat us better. No, what I see is that He loves unconditionally first. He sacrifices first. We are commanded to submit, to respond to Him and to love Him. But in the best typology of marriage, it is Jesus first and He takes responsibility first. And it is so EASY to love Jesus when he sacrificed first. If this is true, which I believe it to be so, why do counselors seem to focus on women first? They must try harder and harder so that the man can respond.

Maybe I am way off base, but I think that if Christian men would be more like Jesus and focused on the bride, we would all respond. It is really difficult to keep a grudge when the man is loving and sacrificing for us. This is our knight in shining armor. This is Christlikeness in marriage.

But the neat thing is that we get to initiate too whether he does or not. We become Christlike and follow the only one who has never failed us. We women can make a difference if we focus on our part.

This is what I did many years ago and the fruit of it all is a happy and healthy marriage. My husband frequently tells me how wonderful I am and how lucky he is to have me for his wife. And the more he tells me this, the more I want to live up to this high expectation.

Anyway, perhaps we should leave off talking to men about men in marriage if it is offensive to them. This really isn’t what this blog is about. And I sure don’t like to offend a dear brother in Christ.