Cheryl Schatz

Jessica,
You said:

I have not always been a complementarian and have been humbled in the past few years as I have discovered what I believe to be the gracious design that God has for men and women.

It is interesting that for me it was just the opposite. We became egalitarians both from the Scriptures and from having the comp model fail to bring either one of us happiness. My husband was gracious and humble enough to admit that he did not have the ability to mold me into the vision he had for me and he did not have the ability to understand what was the best decision for me as a person. By making all the decisions in the marriage it only kept me in a dependent state unable to be mature. It wasn’t until he gave everything over to God and allowed me to fall down on my own that I grew tremendously. No longer did I need to have my husband make my decisions so I wouldn’t fail. I learned how to make independent and wise decisions and he supported me in my journey of growing and maturing. It was a scary time for us since neither of us had experienced the egal way before, but neither one of us would go back. I have as much an attitude of submission as I did before but I also now take responsibility for my own decisions and I make them wisely and carefully with God’s direction and my husband’s input. When my husband started to submit in this way and let go of the control that he believed he was entrusted with, both of us experienced the joy of equality in the Lord in a way that was not possible before.

I think that we often see the word submission and think weakness. I do not…I think true power…just as Christ’s submission to the Father brought about redemption for each one of us.

Excellent thought! I have had a real turnabout since becoming an egal. I now understand that submission is a beautiful thing and by submitting I am able to experience the gifts of the Lord through others. Since we have not been given the mandate to take authority over others and make them learn from us, others will not experience the blessing that God has for them through His gifts in us unless they submit to receive. So I see submission as not only a way to bless my husband or another brother or sister in the Lord, but I see it as a way to be blessed by receiving. If I am too proud to submit then I won’t receive God’s gift through them either. And I only want God’s best.

It certainly may have an awful lot to do with listening and submitting to the Holy Spirit. That is the key to providing Godly leadership and on the other hand allowing wives to be joyfully submitting to that leadership.

Here is where we have some differences. I see leadership as leading in one’s gifts but I don’t see leadership as something that a wife needs from her husband as if she is unable to reach maturity and must have a leader over her. I see this as a way to get in between the Lord, who is the only true leader above us, and ourselves. All over leaders are to lead by example and they are beside us as we look to Jesus. A husband needs his wife to lead with her gifts just as much as she needs him to lead in his gifts. But he doesn’t need her to lead him just like she doesn’t need him to lead her. We have one Lord, not two and one Master and Leader, not two. When we keep our eyes only on the Lord Jesus we will grow in maturity not staying in a dependent position needing an earthly leader who makes all of the final decisions for us.

If it was me it would feel like a huge sacrifice to step away from that for any reason. That is why I feel such respect for his thoughtful wisdom to take this leave of absence.

I agree that this must have been very hard for him and as one in ministry myself, I know that time away from ministry is extremely hard for me. I would go crazy if I had to be away from ministry for 8 months!

I would add that all of those parts have a purpose and it is crucial that our body parts/organs fulfill that purpose. That is the way God designed them. The heart needs the kidneys to filter the blood but the kidneys can’t do the same job the heart does.

The difference here is that God created and “gifted” the kidneys to do the filtering and He did not “gift” them to pump blood. But what if He had “gifted” them to pump blood? Would they be in error to do what He had gifted them to do? I think this is the crux of the matter. If God had not intended for women to be teachers or preachers, etc, then He would never have gifted them in this way. God is not one who taunts us with His gifts to sin by using them. He gifts those who are, by the evidence of their gift, empowered to serve in that gift for His glory.

I would pose the idea that submission is not always synonymous with hierarchy. All parts are necessary yet our parts maintain different roles.

I agree that submission is not always synonymous with hierarchy. But I maintain that anything less than willing submission is. I am happy to submit because that is my nature. But God has not kept me out of a servant “role” in any way except by not gifting me. God’s gifts are His endorsement to serve in that area and when He does not gift, I believe a person should not grumble about it, but be happy to serve in whatever way God has gifted them.

Equal in value yet different in purpose and the way in which the great glory of God is displayed.

We are indeed equal in value and individually we are different in purpose. But the question is always going to be whether God has forbidden a member to fulfill a purpose that he/she has been gifted by the Holy Spirit to fulfill. I say that the empowering of the Holy Spirit through His gifts are the decisive factor rather than mankind’s idea of what are proper roles for individuals depending on their race, social standing or gender. For if we have different ideas of what is proper, I think that we can join together with the Apostles who accepted the Holy Spirit’s gifting the Gentiles as proof that their own preconceived ideas of human limits by human category were not to be limits on God. I accept that and I glorify God in His wisdom that gifts and empowers any member of the body to do however He gifts them. If I see man made limits as conflicting with the gifts of God, I will bow to God’s wisdom knowing that His way is the best. He simply cannot empower us with His gifts and then us using these gifts be a cause of sin. It is not consistent with His nature.

Pride is evil…it will destroy us no matter what “ideas” we cling to. Christ crucified is the only “good news” all the rest is just gravy ; )

I couldn’t agree with you more! Praise the Lord that He allows us to have these minor differences so that the ties of love between us can show the world that it isn’t sameness that binds us together, but that God Himself binds us into one body that LOVES each other for the sake of Jesus.