TL

”1) I do not believe that every wife should always submit to her husband in every circumstance. If what he thinks is best goes against what the Bible teaches, she should not follow him. If what he thinks is best is illegal, she should not follow him. “

If those are the only circumstances in which a woman should not obey and yield to her husband in, then she is in effect essentially a child or a slave to her husband. The question of life is how much control of our lives do we have within human community. I’m not talking about our relationship with the Lord, because essentially all of our lives are to be submitted to God, even our desires. But no other human being should have that much control in our lives if we are to become who we were created to be and mature to the fullest of our abilities.

”“complementarianism is the “right” and the “duty” of the man to be responsible before God to “lead” a woman and “grow” her because God has placed upon him the responsibility over her and for her as one who will give an account before God for her.”

Can you please give me a Scripture that shows a husband is accountable before God for his wife’s actions? To my knowledge we each are responsible for our own actions before God. Also, how do you propose to purposefully ‘grow’ your wife. This seems to be something that happens as we yield to the Holy Spirit’s directions and you are only another frail and fallible human. However, I do agree that in normal give and take within a close relationship, if both are honest with one another, there is plenty of opportunity for God to use things to bring maturity to both.