Cheryl Schatz

NN,
You said:

The operation of eros within the marital relationship leads to an natural and God-made asymmetry of the relationship; but, the love of Christ – agape – is of FIRST IMPORTANCE. When you are married you are FIRST a christian, then a spouse. Just as in any other aspect of life; Christ is to be central and our other actions a corollary of this most fundamental truth. …Submission is enjoined within marriage, true; but if this interferes with christian interaction then you have done it wrong. And you will lose not only the good of the christian interaction but will destroy the good of submission in the the marital interaction. And when this plays out is it any wonder that so many people question the apostle’s instructions.

I understand that this is what you have said, but this must be understood also in the context of your claim that eros love has a one-way submission. So how is the above lived out when there is a conflict? Does the conflict fall under the one-way submission of eros love or the reciprocal submission from basic Christianity? If agape love overrides eros love, then how is marriage a one-way submission? Are you saying that husband and wife will have to decide in the beginning of a discussion whether their discussion relates to them as Christians or them as husband and wife so they know whether the husband is allowed to submit or must refrain from submitting to his wife? And are you giving a loophole so that anytime the wife is not happy with the husband’s decision she can claim that their eros love is interfering with their Christian interaction? Can you picture it? A husband doesn’t want to submit so he claims their dispute falls under eros love while she claims that the dispute falls under Christian charity? This doesn’t make sense to me. Perhaps you can reword it so that it is shown to be practical. When can a husband, in your opinion, claim that he is not allowed to submit to his wife and what are the rules that allow him to submit as her Christian brother? And from what Scripture would we find such a division of love where one is attached to submission and the other must not submit? Please explain.