gengwall

Elastigirl said: “I would hazard a guess that your approach would work just fine in your marriage, my marriage, or anyone’s marriage. The fact of the matter is our lives are full of relationships without any “additional constraints on proper conduct” beyond mutual respect and mutual submission. Tough disagreements can be worked through (surely not without compromise, sacrifice, some pain), but just as surely without any need to “pull rank” or play the authority card to reach the resolution.”

You are exactly right. In my marriage, if my wife and I can not agree on an issue where we hold equal standing (which is the vast majority), then we mutually decide not to decide until we have prayed about and explored the issue further. Nowhere is this more important than on major issues like how to spend large amounts of money. I made the mistake once of ignoring my wife’s resistance, apprehensions, and intuition, and exercised “authority” regarding an investment strategy. It cost us $35k. No more. Fool me once….

If my wife and I have a strong disagreement about something, it is a red flag that maybe we need to give the matter further consideration. Until we can either come to concensus or work out a compromise, neither of us moves forward. Ours is a no-trump marriage..