Cheryl Schatz

Hi folks, wow, what a lot of good comments! I will be popping in and out as I am able since this is a really busy time for me.

NN, you said:

And if you read what I wrote above – the proper use of the man’s authority is always to the good of his wife; not selfish exploitation of the woman’s sensuality without regard for her.

I rarely talk about my own past, but this quote brings one last comment about a time that has long past.

I had the most amazing best friend until the day that I got married. That day he changed from my best friend to the person who was now responsible for me. He believed that God would hold him accountable for what I did or did not do and acting as a good and faithful man, he took his authority over me “for my own good”. There is no question in my mind that his actions were out of love for me and out of responsibility towards God. He was going to be the very best authority over me that there ever could be and that would make me perfect and the very best I could be.

After years of his authority over me “for my own good” I lost all the love I ever had for him and I dreamed about freeing myself from my tormentor through divorce. Was my husband to blame? Absolutely not! He was doing the very best job that he could with the teaching he had received that he was responsible for me and he alone would be responsible before God for what I and the family did. His heart was right. He tried the best he could do. It wasn’t his trying his best that was wrong. It was the whole system that was flawed.

Who told us that God has gifted men to know what is “for the good” of their wives? Who told us that women don’t know what is good for them but men do? Who told us that the woman was not meant to grow up to be an independent mature woman who can make godly decisions? Who told us that the woman would need a man who would measure her decisions and her actions and either approve or disapprove of what she does “for her own good”?

The understanding that a male knows better than the woman knows what is “for her good” and can stop her from doing what she desires to do “for her own good” because he has a godlike responsibility for another adult human being to make sure that she always remains under his authority to decide what is “good for her” is actually an evil thing.

The evil is because God created both the male and female to have mature decision making power. God made them both rulers of this earth. He did not make them as one ruler and one child who needed constant supervision because they are prone to mistakes and to not knowing what is good for them. No, that isn’t the truth of God’s word. God made two mature adults. There were no children or dependent adults without the ability to make decisions in the original creation.

One may ask why Eve then made such a bad decision to eat the fruit? First of all she made a decision because she was given decision-making ability by design. It wasn’t her decision-making ability that was the problem. Rather, she ate the fruit because she was deceived. She did not need to have someone make her decision for her “for her own good” but she did need someone to give her the facts that she was missing so that she could have made a wiser decision. She needed to know the facts about God’s character that only one person had seen clearly because of the creative acts that this one person alone had seen in creation. All she needed was more information to make a decision without the influence of deception.

Adam had what she needed but he refused to share it with her. There is no indication that he was responsible for making her decision for her. And God did not call Adam to account for “allowing” Eve to make a decision on her own when he should have made her decision for her “for her own good”. What Adam was called to account for was merely “listening” to his wife’s voice while she was talking to the serpent and doing nothing to stop the serpent’s deception. That was called treachery.

What was the good thing to do that Adam did not do, was not making her decision for her or taking his authority over her. All she needed was a word of truth so that she could have made her own wise decision.

Adam failed Eve in the garden many years ago and today husbands fail their wives when they now fall for the serpent’s lie themselves. So many men have been deceived to believe that God has given them authority over another adult human being to make all the final decisions “for her own good”.

But the truth of the matter is that God has called us all to grow up and be mature and to learn how to make decisions on our own. What women need is not a boss or a decision maker making her decisions for her. What women need is truth. We need all the tools to make our own decisions so that as mature Christians we can be prepared for our place in the next world. We too will be judging the angels and we too must learn how to judge wisely and maturely the things of this world.

When men fall for the lie of the modern-day serpent who has whispered in their ear that men are in charge of women and must supervise them to control their decisions in order to stop them from making “mistakes”, satan laughs at the church because by his deception he is holding back the gifts and the ability of women to grow to maturity unhindered. One half of the Church’s warriors are at stake. And satan has convinced men that they alone are the warriors and they alone are responsible before God and they alone understand women enough to make women’s decisions for them “for their own good”. This is not the truth. It is a lie.

The truth is that God has gifted and called his female “sons” into a spiritual battle and they cannot do the job that they are called to do if men hold them back. I challenge men to look closely at the Scriptures. Where did God tell Adam to make Eve’s decisions for her? Where did God command Adam to take authority over Eve or reprimand Adam for not taking authority over her? Why did God create two rulers on this earth only to hamstring one with no decision-making power? Did not God say that all of us are going to judge the angels in the next life? Do we seriously think that God has created that place of judging for the church in the next life but not allow women the freedom to make proper judgment calls regarding their own life while here on the earth?

One the biggest errors of translation in the entire Bible is the addition of the words “symbol of” in 1 Cor. 11:10. This addition bolsters the lie of satan that women are under the authority of the man instead of having their own authority over their own head. But if you research the verse carefully, not only will you see that the addition of the words “symbol of” are not there in the original text, but the term for “authority” ALWAYS means that the person themselves has the authority and right to do an action. Does a woman have the right and authority to make the decision over what she puts on her head according to 1 Cor. 11:10 or does this verse say that the man has been given authority over her to decide for her “for her own good” what she wears or doesn’t wear on her head? The truth that is clearly shown by verse 10 is that the woman has authority over her own head!

Folks we have fallen for the deception of the one who is the most crafty liar this world has ever seen. He wants to remove authority from women that God has given to them. He wants to make women ineffective in spiritual warfare. And he wants to hurt our marriages by allow men to believe that they alone know what is good for women. Guys you don’t understand us. And you surely don’t know what is good for us. Give us the truth and give us information. But allow us our God-given right to make our own decisions as we walk in maturity with our own fear of God. The Proverbs 31 wise woman was one who made her wise own decisions without having a husband take authority over her. She was a godly woman, mature and wise and capable of judging the angels (1 Cor. 6:3) in the future life.

Men, husbands, you have a choice. You can continue to claim an “authority” over your wife that God did not give you nor did God give Adam “authority over” Eve in the original good creation and you can reap as a result women who are held back, kept from full maturity in their decision-making ability and unhappy that they are never “allowed” to ever be themselves without the control of a man. Or you can release women to God’s control so that they can be Proverbs 31 women capable of making godly choices without a man’s controlling what they do “for their own good” and have mature, godly women who will have their husbands rise up and praise them for their wisdom, their strength and their godliness with their own mature decision-making power (Proverbs 31:28).

It is your choice men, but chose wisely. You can have a strong mature woman at your side or you can force her to remain child-like and dependent so that you can continue to take authority over her “for her own good”. In the next life she too will be judging the angels. It would be a godly and a wise thing for you to release her now and allow her to be all that she was created to be and accept her rulership as God’s good creative act instead of believing the lie of satan that she was meant to be ruled over instead being of a godly ruler herself.