TL

“the presence of eros in marriage constitutes the basis for hierarchy.”

As has been stated by several people in several ways, erotic love, sexual desire and all it’s components must not be a one sided issue or in the control and direction of one person. 1 Cor. 7 repeats this. Husband and wife should be intent on fulfilling the other first and not only themselves and the intent should be in both their control, not just one person deciding and directing. It is when one person typically the male, has full control of sexual issues that selfishness and harm comes to the other.