Tiffany

I am going to say it like this- the wife should submit fully in all things that don’t contradict truth. that is if both parties are behaving as they should then there won’t ever be a “taking of authority” by the husband. but rather it will be the husband doing his part (loving sacrificially, nourishing, cherishing, etc. I will leave it to a husband to elaborate on that part) and the wife seeking to know her husband fully (his wants, desires, preferences etc.)

I think this is rather likely to look a bit different from marriage to marriage. Perhaps an example that most could relate to is re-decorating the bedroom. I would put forth that in the 50-50 model it would be the couple putting forth their favorite ideas and instead of going with the wives favorite over the husbands or visa versa they pick something they both enjoy and will be satisfied with. If they can’t find something they both like it is likely one party will defer to the other with varying degrees of success of harmony. In the 51-49 couple (ie: the husband’s authority exists as the “trump card”) they will seek to find something they both like but if they can’t agree it will be the husband who makes the final call (for some this will produce harmony, for others not). In the 100-0 paradigm (where I think the issue of authority is essentially a non issue) it will be the wife seeking to delight her husband, to please him (and again the husband doing his part, but I prefer to talk about the wives’ role) that by the time the decorating question has come up she will (most likely) already know his desire and seek to align her own with his. (on the husbands part this might look like seeking to learn from the wife the nature of beauty, etc. again, I prefer to focus on the wife). she will desire to redecorate in the way that will most please him. not in a squashing of her preferences (willingly or not) but in truly desiring the same preference as him. where that has become her preference as well. not as a second choice, but as her first and true preference. (I am quite certain that in some marriages the husbands preference would genuinely be whatever the wife picked and he would perhaps like to not be involved at all. for others husbands will a lot wishes on the front). This isn’t about authority but about submission. where strong opinions aren’t going to clash because there is oneness. I have heard pastors say that it isn’t submission if you agree – I think that is not quite right. Submission of a wife to her husband should be like that of the church towards Christ. It should be joyfully offered long before a conflict ever arises.