Cheryl Schatz

Dave,

I think that what others see as “authority” would be the “parent trump card”. It is the thing that gives you the right and the power to makes decisions that may override our children’s will. If your children want to do something that you do not want them to do, you can negotiate with them and work towards an agreement, but in the end if you still disagree, you can take out your “parent trump card” and overrule their will. The thing about the “parent trump card” is that it has an expiry date. This is where your point #1 comes in:

1 – My children have been entrusted to me for a short time. During this time I have responsibility in preparing them to be fully functioning adults when the time comes.

The responsibility that you have been entrusted with is to provide guidance for your children so that when you ease out of the use of the “parent trump card” and eventually they are on their own, they will be fully functioning adults with their own ability to choose what is right and wrong. At that time your will and your good advice will no longer trump their will as it is God’s will for them to be mature and to make their own decisions eventually.

The other thing that can be seen as an “authority” is the fact that you are given the responsibility to discipline your children. This would be the “parent discipline card” that is given you for a short period of time while they are growing up. Eventually it is God’s will that you no longer have this card as they are expected to be mature and to be disciplined.

Now it is interesting that neither of these forms of “authority” is given to the husband to be used with his wife. He does not have God’s permission to “discipline her” as if he is her parent. It is also not his responsibility to grow her up to be a fully functioning adult. Her discipline is in the hands of our common Heavenly Father and the growing up process is carried on by our Lord Jesus through the Holy Spirit.

If the husband were to do these things to his own wife, he would be taking a “trump card” that has not been given to him. It would be replacing the work of the Holy Spirit in her life with his own wisdom and his own source of discipline. It is a usurping of what belongs to God alone.