Cheryl Schatz

Craig,
I declare that you have the best questions that cause us all to think!

In your example above, the husband is desiring his own way which is an unselfish desire, but he has not yet taken out the trump card. He is only strongly advocating for his position. Let’s see what taking out the trump card might look like.

Mrs Smith: But if we go ahead with the operation right now, we will go into foreclosure because we cannot afford both the operation and our house. Let’s just take the time to pray about it and to see how God is wanting us to proceed. I do not want us to lose our home.

Mr Smith: No. I insist that we go ahead with the operation right now.

Mrs Smith: I don’t want that. I am in pain right now but I can handle the pain. But I can’t handle the thought of losing our home. Let’s just take the time to consider our options. If we wait until next year when our credit card bill should be paid off, we may just have enough money left over to take out a loan for the operation.

Mr. Smith: No. I think that we should just go ahead with the operation right now. It doesn’t matter to me if we lose our home. I am perfectly fine living in an apartment. I want to go ahead with the operation and see you free from this pain once and for all.

Mrs. Smith: No dear, I insist that we wait. I do not believe that God would have us lose our home. I have been given God’s grace to live with the pain this long, let’s wait for another year until we have some finances to go ahead. I cannot bear to lose our home. I would rather be in pain forever than to lose everything that we have worked so hard at attaining. This home means everything to me and I ask you to consider my feelings on this matter. I do not want to spend the money on the operation right now. I do not support going into an apartment just so that I can be pain free right now.

Mr. Smith: It is my place as the husband to make the final decision. God has given me that right. I choose my way. We are going to proceed with the operation right now.

In the above example the husband has completely overridden his wife’s will. While it may seem “unselfish”, making a unilateral decision by going against his wife’s will without her consent, no matter how “unselfish” it may seem, it is taking away something precious from her.