Cheryl Schatz

Marion,
Welcome! Thanks for asking this question.

I was raised as a complementarian so I too believed that it was my husband’s responsibility to gather the family for bible reading and prayer. I felt guilty taking his “role”, but whenever I stopped, nothing happened or we would have a few times of bible reading and prayer and then nothing. Nagging helped but not much. Later I read something that said that if I just stopped “usurping” his role, he would eventually see the need and the family would have its proper leadership back. So I stopped. I never took the lead back. Now my kids are grow and have kids of their own. When I finally stopped we lost that family devotion time and we never got it back.

Since that time I have learned that there is nothing in the bible that talks about the husband as priest of the home. It is not the responsibility of just one person to bring the Lord into the daily life of the home. I feel bad that I too tried to get my husband to do something that was my responsibility as well and we all could have benefited as a godly example for my grandchildren if I would not have listened to those who told me that what I was doing is unscriptural.

What I have learned since I was a young mom is that my husband does best in speaking about spiritual matters when I take the lead and he can participate. He is very good at participating. His family never had family devotions. My family always had family devotions and so it was something I dearly missed when I stayed on the side lines.

The way I look at it now is that God gave one of us the strong desire for family bible reading and prayer. That one person was me. I then had a greater responsibility to fulfill my mandate or at least an equal responsibility. What I should have done is just kept up the family devotion time and let my husband participate. This is where he felt comfortable and the children saw him as a role model by his participation. He didn’t need to lead. I was capable of that. When we all work out our own gifts, the body is encouraged and we all grow. I no longer think that things are someone else’s responsibility. If I am the one who has the desire, I take responsibility. This is the biblical way and it doesn’t put my husband down because he has not been gifted the way I have.

I hope this helps a little!
Cheryl