Rose

Man Rachael, my heart really breaks for you. I was really blessed, at least in some ways, to have the earthly father I had. He did and said some really hurtful things to me especially in the last years of his life, but one thing he NEVER did was make me feel diminished because I was female. He did really love and respect me, I believe, as a person. And, I always loved and respected him for who he was too. I actually went to the link Cheryl provided and read about her experience with your dad, so I have more of an idea of what living with him was probably like for you, and I’m so sorry. In a way, at least, I really do know how you feel because while my dad loved me greatly, my mom was one of those people who had absolutely NO business being a parent…EVER. Typically in situations with abuse in families, it’s the men who are abusers and the women who are too pathetic and gutless to leave and get their kids out, but my family situation was reversed. While I don’t know what it’s like to be hated or put down because I’m female, I DO know what it’s like to have a parent behave hatefully towards you, so in that respect, I really do know how it feels and I’m so sorry for what you went through.

As for the whole “woman issue,” I don’t know why, but for some reason, I’ve always felt deeply affected by it emotionally. Like I said, it’s played no actual role in my life. I haven’t been personally attacked or put down for being female, but for some reason, as a woman, I’ve always felt rather insecure about being a woman and afraid of not having equal worth in God’s sight because of my gender and the strong resurgence of complementarian thinking in the church these days. I mean, when you really think about it, how DO those verses in Ephesians about husbands and wives sound from the perspective of a woman? To me, they’ve always sounded really terrible and chauvinistic against women. And, I’m sorry, but the verses about how husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church don’t make the verses about wives submitting to their husbands any easier for me as a woman to swallow. I mean, think about it. REALLY think about it. What does the verse, “Wives submit unto your husbands AS UNTO THE LORD” REALLY say to you? To me, it has always seemed to SCREAM that a woman does not have the same worth in God’s eyes as a man does. To me, that verse has always basically seemed to say, “Wives, make your husbands God.” That’s certainly how I think a lot of men in the church take it (and I think they THOROUGHLY ENJOY doing so, although they probably won’t admit it!) I mean, think about it. REALLY THINK about those words for a minute. Wives, submit to your husbands as unto the Lord. You know what that verse does for me? For me, it basically makes a woman sub-human if she’s married. For me, that verse basically makes marriage a mere contract of slavery that allows a husband to own his wife like a sub-human piece of property. That verse REALLY seems to say that if a woman is married, her husband is God. And, that verse is one of several reasons why I likely will NEVER get married. I mean, I believe the egalitarian position is the correct one. But why do I believe it is correct? Because I WANT it to be correct. I believe it is correct because I merely HOPE it is correct. I don’t really know for sure, and if the comps are right about Ephesians…well, that is a chance I am not ABOUT to take. I want God to be my God and no one else, and certainly not a MAN, because while my father was great to me, I’ve seen the way men (one man in particular in my life) think of and treat women. To say the least, the verses on wifely submission are enough to put men on one HECK of an ego-trip, no matter how much following verses may preach at men to love their wives. I don’t think those verses are enough to prevent the ego-trip the preceding verse about wives submitting to their husbands “as unto the Lord” can really give them. I guess “the woman issue” is as important to me as it is because of the insecurity the submission verses have really given me all my life. And I won’t admit this often, but I do struggle inside, I have all my life, about being a woman because of the way certain Bible verses can sometimes make me feel, although in my heart of hearts, I don’t really believe that was ever God’s intent.