Charis

Just rambling a bit.

I was thinking about the Adam and Eve thing. That idea that Adam knew he was going to die, he wasn’t deceived. And that the tree will make him “like god”. I am married to a patriarchal man. In a way, he seems to want to be “like god”. That drive to control and micromanage every decision that every person in the household makes…. And I really did used to put him on a pedestal and think that is how GOD wanted it: every little thing had to go through my husband… (your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you)

On my 25th wedding anniversary (which was Tues), I had birth pangs (BAD) and revelation (GOOD 🙂 )!!! I’m doing Beth Moore’s study Beloved Disciple and I really think she wrote week 2 for me! 🙂 She points this out Luke 9:52-55 where the disciples ask Jesus if they should call down fire to burn those Samaritans to a crisp because they didn’t welcome Jesus. Boy, do I resemble those disciples sometimes! Its a good thing I am not God!

I think things would be great if only my husband would (give up his addictions)…. The revelation God showed me that HE is quite interested in working on yours truly: on ME! Yikes! OK, Lord! Actually it feels really good and freeing to realize that… But, I get scared when I look at what he is doing (his addictions) and then I get angry at him but my anger just makes a worse mess 🙁 I realized I am trying to protect myself and my children, but my way doesn’t work, it is counterproductive. What is God’s way? And HE showed me… HE wants me to 1John 5:16. So, I am trusting God that the next 25 years will be years of LIFE!