Charis

When you said you were stuck at 12, do you mean you were physically 12 years old, or that you didn’t mature emotionally past 12 even though you were older?

I mean that part of me stopped growing right there at 12, so I handled some things very immaturely. For one, I had what I refer to as “brain freeze”. Whenever I felt attacked in any way, my ability to reason shut down and I was helpless to defend myself. I literally NEVER backtalked to my husband or defended myself. I assumed that was disrespectful and unsubmissive. When my first daughter came home from college, I thought they had turned my baby into a FEMINIST! She had her own OPINIONS about stuff!

I have been in recovery for 3 years. Recovery is very like growing up (at long last!) and learning to speak up as an adult woman. I was terrible at it at first. I could really see how, in many ways, my children are far far more mature than I, and very wise. They speak into my life.

And God provided me with an anointed male Christian therapist who was able to BE Jesus with skin on for me and two older women mentors who are walking with me. Very like a daddy figure and a mommy figure to rewrite the bad stuff. I think churches need wise, spiritually mature elders to do this for their members. Note 1Thes 2:7 and 11.