Cheryl

Pastor Darlene,
I do understand what you are saying. I also believe that God works with both people in a marriage and when he calls one of them, he calls the other to support. Yet the spiritual decision between God and myself is individual and I do not need my husband’s support to serve God. Years ago after several years of marriage, God called me back to himself. I had not been following God and although I never stopped believing in him per se, I was not living out my Christian faith in practice. I was ashamed if anyone found out at work that I was a Christian. But God got a hold of me and my experience with God as I gave him complete control of my life was very profound. When I told my husband what I had done in my heart he was very angry with me. He was interested in doing his own will and he didn’t want God in his life. I told him that I really wanted him to join with me in serving God, but if he would not, I would serve God with all my heart by myself. My decision had been made with or without him and this decision did not need to be filtered through him.

It didn’t take long and my husband too had made a decision to follow Christ and to give up the control of his own life. My decision to follow hard after the Lord will always be there whether my husband joins with me or not, but in the area of ministry I really do need my husband to work with me. I am submissive by nature and I am not a loner and a long time ago I told God that if he really wanted me in ministry that he would have to work this out through my husband because there are some things that I just don’t do well by myself. I really need my husband and together we are a solid force of two yet one.

So in the question whether a woman’s decision must be filtered through her husband, I would say that it is always wise for the one flesh union to work together and talk things over to come to a mutual decision. However my obedience to God is not dependent on my husband’s obedience.