Cheryl

Truthseeker,
I agree with Lin that what we have in this day and age are biblical helps and resources at our fingertips that only the elite scholars used years ago. Many of these resources are free on the internet.

Now regarding 1 Peter 3:1 – Peter tells wives to be submissive to their husbands in order to win them for the Lord if any of them are not believers. In verse 2 Peter defines what he means by submissive. A submissive attitude is one that shows a chaste and respectful behavior. Now while the word for respect can be interpreted as “fear” most translations either render it as “respect” for the husband – see the Amplified bible: “When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him–to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband]. ” Or else they attribute the fear as towards God himself. i.e. (The bible in basic english) “When they see your holy behaviour in the fear of God.” or (MKJV) “having witnessed your chaste behavior in the fear of God.” I have no problem seeing it either way. We are to respect our husbands treating them as special, prize them, admire, adore and enjoy them. We are also to treat them with respect because of our fear (reverence) for God. 1 Peter 3:15 talks about our actions with a healthy reverence (fear) for God.

1 Peter 3:15 but sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and be ready always to give an answer to everyone who asks you a reason of the hope in you, with meekness and fear;

While it is our responsibility to give our husbands the respect that they seem to need to flourish and to be their best, their responsibility is to love us unconditionally (as Christ loves the church) and by loving us this way they are supplying our emotional need.

I know of no marriage advice anywhere whether from complementarian or egalitarian sources that advises women to “fear” their husband. It makes much more sense that the marriage bond is not to be of fear but of deep respect and careful attention to the things that meet his needs. It is easy to do such things if he is diligent to follow the biblical pattern of meeting our needs first. The man who truly loves his wife unconditionally will have a respectful “fan” on his side who will encourage him and treat him like no one else means more to her than her own spouse. I will talk more in a future post about what happens when the man overrules his wife’s will instead of loving her like Jesus loves the church.