Jennifer

Cheryl, Stan, Don, etc., you are amazing. For some unknown reasons, I forced myself out of fear to read some of Andreas Kostenberger’s book, “Women in the Church”. It is a mountain of patriarchy, and when I saw what appeared to be clear evidence that my precious egalitarian understanding of the verse in Timothy was not accurate, I felt a piece of my heart start to struggle in a death throw. That struggle continued when I did the unthinkable and began looking into Wayne Grudem’s most detailed work; more evidence to the contrary of my beliefs surfaced. I began to search different complimentarian books, compelled by fear and perhaps a Satan-driven force. Part of me was suddenly in doubt; ever since I watched Cheryl’s amazing DVDs and finished Joanne Krupp’s book “Woman”, I was certain that complimentarianism would never threaten me truly again, and now it was. My own evidence didn’t seem to be enough; I felt as though any evidence offered by egalitarians would be disproven and flung aside by Grudem or some other person of the same mindset, and I feared I could never have a rock-solid faith again.

I pleaded to God to help me, because the most persistent thorn in my side was the voice saying that my common sense, my instinct that patriarchy is wrong and logically flawed, was overruled by Scripture. This same instinct, this root deep in my heart that always looked at patriarchy and cried “this isn’t right, this just doesn’t make sense” was now being overshadowed by a taunt of “The Bible says it is! The Bible says it is!” It was hard, very hard. Then, somewhere along the line, I began to gain faith again. Suddenly, Grudem’s arguments seemed humorous. When he claimed that Paul said women should be silent because of the law (in Corinthians) I remembered Joanne Krupp and my own female pastor friend, Dawn Wilson, saying that Paul was quoting these words back to Pharisee-like men, and rejecting them by saying “Has the Word of God come forth from you”?, thus challenging them NOT to follow the old Laws, influenced by the Talmud. I remembered Cheryl’s painstaking teaching about the culture and the times, and when I came upon Grudem’s claim that men should rule because Adam was created first, I laughed out loud at it, just as I had the first time. Suddenly I was a free spirit again, just as I’d been when I first confidently approached this issue, with the ready assurance that God must not have forbad His daughters the teaching of His Word. Kostenberger and his complimentarian text lost credibility too, when I began to see the same sort of logic within his writing. I remembered all the valuable lessons Cheryl and other great men and women had taught me; I would not be uneducated now. The puzzle of confidence and conviction was almost wholly repaired when I returned here and read, once again, Stan’s amazing story. First, his criticisms of complementarianism would just not allow the movement to stand any longer. Secondly, the egalitarian position, so beautifully described by him, did indeed fit Scripture far better (and I was enlightened of this fact partly by Frank Viola’s work, “Who is your Covering?”, which proved a good while ago to me that human fellowship, and not hierarchy, is the undisputed Holy design for God’s church). And lastly, Stan’s blessed words, “I don’t claim to have all the answers”, put my heart at rest. Oh daughter of God, all answers are never needed in faith. This debate will be going on for years on end, and there will always be another answer from each side; BOTH sides have incomplete issues. But, as Stan so wonderfully said, the problems with egalitarianism are far, far easier to live with than those of the other side. Egalitarianism fits more perfectly with the Bible, with Christ’s teachings of humility, with fellowship love. Who could dare claim that human hierarchy is God’s plan rather fellowship and humility?? Those are not God’s ways.

Thank you God, for once again teaching me of the truth and even forcing me to declare my loyalty to you even if all my hopes were wrong. Thank you Cheryl, Don, and Stan. You’ve reminded me of the treasures of God’s ways and truth, and how it’s all right to not have all the answers all the time. I will trust God, and His plan so beautifully outlined for me.