Cheryl

Charis,

Going back to your comment in #15 you said:

” Frankly, I feel quite confident that God wants me to stand up to the sin in a way which is quite confrontational and unpleasant for my husband. I believe that my ostensibly “respectful” and “submissive” behavior tiptoeing around his “fragile male ego” for 22 years at the expense of the vulnerable tender hearts and spirits of our children was destructive and sinful on my part. (This enabling behavior on my part was reinforced by just such teaching as your post here highlights. I thought I was being “biblical”.)

So which is it? Is it confront sin and attempt to hold him accountable?
Or is is “forgive” “love covers a multitude of sins” and “blessed is she who overlooks an offense”?”

I think it is difficult to speak of a course of action without specifics. I like to think about how I would like to be confronted and let that be a guide. But what if the action is a serious sin? You definitely have to hold a person accountable. But ultimately you are only in control of yourself.

One thing that I have found since I followed God’s way for *my* life is that “respectful” and “submissive” and “forgiving” are all places of power under control. When I know that I have a choice and I am not forced into a position, then I am happy and contented. My husband is also happy and contented and so it has worked very well for us. In fact my husband has done a lot of submitting to my gifts and my abilities as he considers himself the one called to come alongside me in ministry.

Just this morning I asked my husband if he would be willing to give his testimony of his journey from being a generational complementarian to the place where we are at now. He is considering it. He doesn’t much like email or writing, but if it helps someone, he may force himself to write out his own story. 🙂