Jennifer

Cheryl, I absolutely adore your posts and your awesome Scriptural understanding. On a minor point here, though, I was rather disturbed when you said, “I was willing to give up everything and to live my life as a doormat if that is the only thing that God allows women to do.”

That is the ultimate test, isn’t it? Even I have forced myself to say, “God, Praise You, even if I’m wrong about all this” (women being pastors). However, I’ve found that sometimes, feelings are reliable. Satan’s biggest and closest-cutting lie has been to tell me God wants me as a doormat. Moreover, he mocks my devotion when doing this, saying, “Don’t you want to be a doormat for your God? Are you not to obey Him? What does it matter if this tears into your soul and sears your heart’s flesh, it is your beloved God’s command!” Indeed, we are called to completely die to ourselves for God. However, Satan would like us to die to such an extent that we’re no longer of any use to anyone. Thus, he tells us that God wants things for us that are not natural or healthy to the very mold that God created us in. And how do we know that we’re being told lies that hurt our very souls? Our souls tell us! When something feels unnatural, horrible, as painful as an infected wound that poisons the very heart, we know there’s something wrong. Pain is a natural part of life, but some kinds of pain are strong warning signs that something harmful, even dangerous, to our being is happening. When we exercise, for example, our muscles stretch, our bones strengthen, and our lungs strain for more air, naturally causing aches and soreness. This kind of pain is healthy and a sign of growing, not unlike the “growing pains” we feel as Christians when we increase in our faith, die to self, become living sacrifices for God, and persevere through painful trials in order to cling to our trust in God.

On the other hand, consider the pain we’d feel if we put our hand over an open flame or a hot burner. Would this pain be the result of something natural and healthy? No! It would be our bodies’ way of saying “get your hand off that stove! It’s hurting you badly!” This is the same kind of pain our souls feel when Satan lies to us and tries to grind his deception into our hearts: our hearts rebel and tell us to stop listening and flee for healing. THIS kind of pain, this kind of feeling, is right and can be trusted. We need God’s word, of course, but I instinctively knew that the false design of female doormat as told by Satan’s followers was wrong from the beginning, because the surface wounds my soul already bore from them were crying out in protest. God would never ask us to do something we were not designed to do; if women were designed to be what the likes of John Rice said they were, we’d be dull, soft creatures with no vitality and no real connection to God. As it is, everything in a strong woman contradicts this design. What I’m saying, in a nutshell, is that sometimes, our feelings can be trusted. They cannot always serve as proof alone, but there is reason behind them. When your entire being cries out against something like a heart rejecting a knife blade, you know something’s not natural or right.