Cheryl

wanderer,

You said:

First, I do not determine what the rules are at CARM, but I do my best to follow them, even if I do not agree.

You are completely correct in that none of us but CARM itself determines its own rules. However, the godly thing to do is to apply these rules equally for everyone. When I first started posting on CARM, I was appalled at how much attack was allowed by those who seem to be the “teacher’s pet”. While I did see some legitimate warning for those who did speak out of turn, there appeared to be a real attitude of turning a “blind eye” to those who support CARM in every area and who speak harshly to anyone who disagrees with anything that CARM stands for. This double standard is what has caused many to be dismayed. If the rules were applied across the board in a fair way, I don’t think anyone could really say much. But the rules are only applied to the letter of the law against those who disagree with CARM’s position especially on the secondary issue of women in ministry. If I remember right the first time I got kicked off was because I made a statement about the unequal way that people were treated. “christdependent” was forever “in my face” calling me very unkind and nasty names and questioning my motives and my character, yet nothing was ever done to stop her rants against me or others. I reported her as the rules said to do and when nothing was done, I questioned why she was allowed to continue the nasty words.

In this forum, I do want a safe place for all, not just for egalitarians. So if I find someone harshly attacking another person, I will do something about it. If it is a complaint about the way they have been treated, I do let them sound off as long as they are not doing a “christdependent” kind of attack. When I was on CARM, I did not reply to “christdependen’s” attacks. I completely ignored her, but one cannot ignore when the moderator of the board goes on the attack saying lies and attacking people’s characters. This is ungodly and if the good say nothing, the evil will continue.

So while I completely agree with you that rules are rules and if one doesn’t like the rules, they may need to either adjust or move on, the unequal application of the rules is a worldly thing, and has nothing to do with a Christ-like attitude.

I do hope that you will stay around long enough to read my posts on marriage and why women don’t wear headcoverings and why women are not to be completely silent in the church. Another good place to start reading about the necessity for a kinsman Redeemer is my post on Adam as head of the family.
http://strivetoenter.com/wim/2006/11/20/adam-as-head-of-the-family/

You will find also that there is a real openness here for complementarians who love God’s word and who are respectful to those who disagree with them. We are the body of Christ and we are called to have a very special love for each other because by loving each other we show our love for Jesus.

I also invite you to post your views of women. We would love to hear from you whether or not you agree with anything we say. I have always welcomed complementarians to this forum and I want to assure you that we consider this issue a secondary issue in the church, not an issue that should divide us from fellowship. You are completely welcome here and we would really love to hear what you have to say.