Cindy K

I asked him if this meaning was the true meaning of the verse why God would be prejudiced against men by not promising that they would be kept spiritually safe by remaining in their “roles” as husbands and fathers?

Cheryl,
Your comment #50 points out a really great example of how so many of these spiritually abusive and manipulative teachers take their words to create the illusion of a false dichotomy so that the listener can see only two alternatives or views of a given topic.  Especially in a congregation, all the influences of the environment and the setting reinforce this for the unsuspecting, earnest, trusting follower sitting in the pew.  You have minister who takes a passage of Scripture that actually falls within a number of possible interpretations that are within an acceptable, sound Biblical view, yet will use the pressure of the group and their own skill to promote only one alternative as correct.  They can also “paint the picture” so that not only is their view the only view, in matters of intramural issues in the church-at-large, they can promote these intramural issues as those that are not peripheral but central, critical, defining doctrines of the Christian faith.

People are especially vulnerable to this influence when they are in the moment in fellowship with one another.  The minister uses appeal to authority to his (or her!?) advantage, and can use homiletics in their favor.  The group pressure is strong, as it is our basic human nature to conform in group settings, particularly for the Christian, those that accompany reference for God’ house.  (If you disagree with the minister, it shows disrespect to the House of Prayer and God Himself if one were to protest then and there.)  The minister has cooperation of the congregants in the service, so they are willing to comply with expected behaviors, and this diminishes and competes with one’s ability to objectively evaluate the message, especially if the message is questionable.   Thought reform theory says that gaining behavioral compliance gives the speaker a foothold into one’s thoughts and emotions, so just by routine compliance with the group norm increases the power of their message.  Then add in there the social pressure and social mentoring influence when you might have doubts about what was said, but everyone around you nods and says “Amen.”  It is basic human nature to check oneself in these circumstances (basically designed for our survival and protection, but can work against us when we are being “led” to accept a false dichotomy).

I sit here tonight with part of mind saying “How could anyone not consider that this protection message for women through role performance not apply to men?”  But then I also consider my experience of having been in congregations wherein these many powerful pressures caused me to accept these false dichotomies and other doctrines that, under other circumstances, I would have outright rejected.

I’m so blessed by this internet discussion and other ones that give earnest people an opportunity to put the brakes on some of these processes by bringing attention to the holes in the arguments of some of these folks who have such rigid gender views.  In a forum where people are not wrestling with the immediate pressures that they would be when listening to a sermon or sitting in a pew, people can have more of their internal resources available to take a second look at the teachings.  I believe that’s what we are seeing now on the internet, and the powerful, agenda driven pontiffs aren’t too happy about it.  When people are given the support and opportunity to think things through like Bereans in a safe place like the one you’ve created here in cyberspace, many people figure out that they have an alternative to the “black and white world” that many of these teachers have created and manipulated.

I’m so encouraged by all of this at work this week, here and on other places on the internet.  People realize that they have choices and that even Jesus invited Thomas to examine His wounds so that he might believe.  Jesus wanted Thomas to have faith in Him and not faith in what he thought he should or had to believe.  I believe that the Word teaches that the goal of Christian living is intimacy with the Lord where we love Him with our hearts, minds and strength, not a goal of high-performance of man’s standards and a relationship based on “shoulds.”

Keep fighting the good fight and creating this place where people can hash out their thoughts and ideas concerning so many of these all or nothing alternatives posed in the gender debate.