Don Johnson

On the woman with the anti-woman-leader pastor in a woman-leader denom, she can escalate, as there is a leadership hierarchy.  Perhaps her pastor should not be a pastor in this denom.  Or perhaps she should go to another congregation in this denom.  Or perhaps she should stay and try to convince him.  It is not automatic that she should stay or go or escalate.
On lots:

Num 26:53
“Among these the land shall be divided for inheritance according to the number of names.
Num 26:54
To a large tribe you shall give a large inheritance, and to a small tribe you shall give a small inheritance; every tribe shall be given its inheritance in proportion to its list.
Num 26:55But the land shall be divided by lot. According to the names of the tribes of their fathers they shall inherit.

Jos 7:13
Get up! Consecrate the people and say, ‘Consecrate yourselves for tomorrow; for thus says the LORD, God of Israel, “There are devoted things in your midst, O Israel. You cannot stand before your enemies until you take away the devoted things from among you.”
Jos 7:14In the morning therefore you shall be brought near by your tribes. And the tribe that the LORD takes by lot shall come near by clans. And the clan that the LORD takes shall come near by households. And the household that the LORD takes shall come near man by man.

Jdg 20:9Jdg 20:10

and we will take ten men of a hundred throughout all the tribes of Israel, and a hundred of a thousand, and a thousand of ten thousand, to bring provisions for the people, that when they come they may repay Gibeah of Benjamin, for all the outrage that they have committed in Israel.”

1Sa 10:201Sa 10:21
He brought the tribe of Benjamin near by its clans, and the clan of the Matrites was taken by lot; and Saul the son of Kish was taken by lot. But when they sought him, he could not be found.

Pro 16:33
The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the LORD.

Pro 18:18 The lot puts an end to quarrels and decides between powerful contenders.

Jon 1:7
The sailors said to each other, “Let’s draw lots and find out who is to blame for getting us into this danger.” They did so, and Jonah’s name was drawn.

Luk 1:9According to the custom followed by the priests, he was chosen by lot to burn incense on the altar. So he went into the Temple of the Lord,

The lot was an accepted way to make decisions and besides being random it might mean they voted.
The reason I said it was a mistake to couple these ideas is it makes it easier for the non-egals to dismiss 1 by dismissing the other.  The idea of Paul being the 12th apostle is not common.  So you are giving your opponents a “slow pitch” even if you believe it to be true.  There are many things that I might believe the Lord showed me that I would never bring up in an argument.
On your claim that Paul says the same things as the 11, I want to see verses, as I do not see this.

1 Samuel 10:20 Then Samuel brought all the tribes of Israel near, and the tribe of Benjamin was taken by lot.

Judges 20:9 But now this is what we will do to Gibeah: we will go up against it by lot,