Don

There were 2 ways to get a divorce, you picked 3 sages/rabbis to hear your case.  Either a man or a woman could do it.  If you picked 3 from Shammai school, then you had to prove your case with evidence, and the charges might be neglect or abuse or adultery for the woman or lack of intercourse.  In general the man was to provide supplies and the woman was to prepare them.  If her father gave her servants, the servants did the least desirable work and the 4th servant did whatever the wife wanted, but the first 3 did things in order.  If a man proved adultery, he could confiscate her dowry, on the other things the rabbis imposed fines, which would eventually eat up the dowry or the bride price.  So if a woman refused to cook food and had no servants to do it, her dowry could be fined.  Or if the man refused to provide food to cook, he could be fined.  If he kept refusing, she could get a divorce, they would whip the man until he wrote the divorce certificate.

The man could also go to 3 Hillel school rabbis and divorce for “Any Matter” and then divorce for any reason at all, but the dowry was returned.  This was the normal method of divorce, as no one had to prove anything, EXCEPT if one was trying to keep the dowry.

It was asymmetrical with advantages to the man.  But the man could not just take the dowry unless the woman did not behave.