TL

i>”When we argue that the men/women issues were always just cultural i think we are wrong.”

I agree. That is called a “strawman argument” though, because those who believe in Biblical equality do not and have not said that. However, yes the early church was stuck in the culture of their time. It was difficult for Jesus and the disciples to pull them out of doing what they always did. And that is still difficult for believers today.

”If there is no authoritative aspect to a marriage for example, then it is not a true reflection of Christ’s covenant with His church.”

Where do you see that the covenant was built upon authority that is to be transferred to men only? I see the New Covenant built upon sacrifice, God’s Love, mercy and grace, all of which will translate to freedom and maturity for the believer. First we are freed from the power that sin holds over humanity, which results in no longer needing the Old Covenant with it’s ceremonies and sacrifices. We now have Jesus. We are free people born not of the slave but the bond woman. We are free to grow and mature into the fullness of the person of Christ. That is the authority of the believer, to become like Christ and be His hands, feet, arms and spokesperson (of a sort) to the world. And yes, that is loving and serving like Christ did. These are things that every believer has the power via the HS to achieve and do in the world for the benefit of others.

As for marriage, I agree that there is no authority aspect. What there is, is a unity born of mutual give and take. A marriage is built upon the strengths of two people giving into the life of the other, to such a degree that eventually they become as if they were one unit, one body. This is not accomplished by one directing and the other following, but by both giving and both receiving from the other.

Marriage is benefitted by each spouse giving of his/her strengths. A husband has physical strengths that a wife doesn’t and vice versa. A husband has social strengths and connections that a wife doesn’t. His job is to sacrificially use those strengths to benefit his wife, providing for and protecting her. The wife uses her strengths to benefit the husband supporting and providing for his needs as well. Eventually, if done well, the two though still different, know each other so well that they know when to do their part without asking, resulting in a harmonious unity that looks as if they move and live as one unit. And so on ……