gengwall

Mark – of course the comp position does encourage abuse. What I believe Cheryl is trying to stress with her comments about benevolence, etc. is that the comp position inherently fosters abuse. It is not an active act of teaching abuse, but anytime one human exercises power, rule, or authority over another the situation is ripe for abuse. Your observations about human nature, therefore, are spot on. The problem with the comp position is that it allows way too much human nature into relationships.

I’m not following your Ephesians reference but I believe you are speaking of Ephesians 5. You claim there is an authority structure there but the text doesn’t support it, unless one believes “head” inherently and universally means “boss”. But scripture does not support such a conclusion. As Cheryl has rightly said, nowhere in the marriage passages, or even in the Christ/Bride passages of scripture, is an authoritarian structure outlined. You will have to do better than throwing out an English word and our narrow ideas about that word if you want to convince us that Ephesians 5 dictates that the husband is the boss of his wife.

You have rightly said that Christ like love involves service and sacrifice. But isn’t Christ like love the expression of “headship”? Again, there is no “rule” or authority inherent in Christ like love. Jesus, himself, expressed this a number of times in both word and dead.
“I did not come to be served but to serve”.
“The rulers of this world lord it over the people but not so with you”.
“Christ…humbled himself and became a servant”.
“And whoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant”.
“If any person desires to be first, they shall be last, and servant of all”.

Never once does Christ, in the husband/wife relationship with his church, ever take authority. He does only three things ever, serve, sacrifice, and intercede. Those are the characteristics of the “head” as Paul speaks of it.

Remember that Paul loves to take words that have a conventional worldly meaning and turn them into something completely different, often opposite, when speaking of life under Christ. Ephesians 5 has two such word contradictions in it. The first is Paul’s use of hupotasso – to “submit”. Rather than use it in its military context, where there is always a “boss” or authority to submit to, Paul calls for mutual submission – a situation which abolishes any authority. There can be no masters if all act as servants. Authority can not coexist with mutual submission. Paul has turned hupotasso on its head (pardon the pun). He then turns to kephale – “head”. Again, he completely defies the normal connotation of head as “ruler” or “authority” by putting up Christ as the example. It as if Paul is echoing Christ’s command regarding worldly rule: “not so with you”. Headship looks completely unworldly when Christ is the model. Headship under Christ is the exact opposite of headship in the world. It is exemplified by service, sacrifice, and intercession, not rule. The Christ like “head” does not live “to be served, but to serve”. He “considers himself less than” those being served. Again, in Paul’s context, authority can not coexist with Christ like, servant headship, just like it can not coexist with mutual submission. Ephesians 5, contrary to your assertion, has nothing at all to do with authority. It is, in fact, the antithesis of authority. But to see that, you have to look beyond our narrow cultural ideas about “submit” and “head”.