gengwall

Let me see if I can help with that truthseeker. If a husband and wife decide between the two of them that the husband is to make the final “call” on major decisions, not because he is the head, but because he is the better equipped of the two in that unique marriage to make such decisions, there is no harm in that. It would be no different if the wife, upon mutual consent, were to take that position of responsibility. You must be careful not to assume universal complimentarianism just because a situation looks like it or even if the parties involved invoke that label.

I give Mark and his wife the benefit of the doubt on this because her “being ok with it” to me means that, at least potentially, she believes he is the better decision maker (with her input to guide him, of course). That may or may not prove true over time (it sure didn;t in our marriage). But she is free to defer to him and they are free to set up decision making however they want.

Now, in reality, most couples delegate decision making in a way that neither party is the universal decision maker (a practical impossibility) AND neither party can make unilateral decisions (a recipe for disaster). I believe that is what Mark is describing in his marriage. Even though it has a complimentarian “look and feel”, and even though he labels it as such, I would argue that it is in fact egalitarian.