gengwall

I agree Cheryl. And I would go a step further. I would argue that for many, many men, regardless of their inherent nature, the “ruler” role just doesn’t feel right. That is why I believe so many couples who are under comp theology never-the-less live fairly egal lives. I believe this is the working of the Spirit in both men’s and women’s lives and the revealing of the TRUTH of scripture. More and more, people understand that “he will rule over you” is not a command for men but a description of a moral failure of our flesh. Then, when we run into a scripture like Ephesians 5 that may appear to say, or we are told says, “you have authority over your wife”, we recoil from that because it appears very much to reflect Genesis 3 and we know that is wrong. Some couples don’t go any further than that. They simply ignore the wonderful teaching of Ephesians 5 for marriages thinking “that was just for another time”. That is not all bad, since rulership is not exercised. But others think “there must be something more to this.” They start to dig because they know what they are hearing from humans regarding the passage can’t be right. That is when the Spirit really opens their eyes and they see that, behold, Ephesians 5 is actually a blatant refutation of the Genesis 3 paradigm. Ephesians 5 actually shows couples the way to return to a Genesis 2 kind of marriage.

At least, that is how it was for me. I have come to the point where I push back even against concepts like the husband is “spiritual leader” because of its implied hierarchy and authority. Equal is equal, and any terminology no matter how warm and fuzzy that tips the scales is Genesis 3 kind of talk. My wife and I are co-leaders of our family. The only type of “leading” that occurs between her and me is the “iron sharpens iron” kind. Our goal is to have a Proverbs 31 kind of marriage: where I have “full confidence” in my wife and “lack nothing” in our relationship; and she is “clothed with strength and dignity” and she “speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue”, so that “her works bring her praise at the city gate”.