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Mark,

Again, there are those here who have obviously given this much more thought than I and may be better equipped to handle your questions. I think our host has already answered this, but I’ll take a go at it.

You asked: “Why is it that wifes are told to submit? Why is it that husbands are told not to be harsh? There are specific commands given to each gender in the bible. We should not mesh everything to say the same things always apply to everyone- this is not what the bible does.”

The epistles were addressing real people in a specific culture, in real time with a set of circumstances some of which we may not be completely aware. The instructions given to the original audience in their specific set of circumstances contain general principles from which we post-modern westerners can gain. I certainly would not say they are gender-specific commands and apply at all times and in all circumstances, and I would not say “we should not mesh everything to say the same things always apply to everyone.”

For example, if we should not mesh everything to say the same things always apply to everyone, then can wives be harsh? Are women not allowed to lift up their holy hands in prayer without anger? Are men not allowed to learn? Are men permitted to dress immodestly, indecently and without propriety? And, if fathers (males) are not to provoke their children to anger, are mothers (females) allowed to embitter their children? Of course not.