gengwall

Hi Pan.

The law allows for a certain level of “assault”, if you will, when it involves domestic parties. Parents can legally spank their children – to a degree – and a certain level of physical restraint and “correction” is allowed for older children as well. (Incidentally, the bible seems to indicate a similar acceptance.) I distinctly remember the sharp slap across the face I received from my mother as a 17 year old when I took the name of the Lord in vain in front of her. I can also remember an altercation between my wife and daughter which resulted in…well…let’s just say my wife is still the WWF champ in our family (mother and daughter get along fine, btw). Now, you may not be an advocate of such measures in the parent/child relationship, but the reality is that in some families, sometimes words alone can’t solve situations, especially when there is an authority/dependent dynamic. That reality, of course, is a result of our (both parent’s and children’s) sinful dispositions, as Cheryl points out. But there are many kinds of physical altercation that would not result in arrest.

This where complimentarians go wrong and why their perception of domestic violence gets so out of wack. In my experience, they believe two incorrect things. One, that the husband/wife relationship is such an authoritarian situation. As such, it is no different in their mind than a parent dealing with a child. That is almost exactly the argument Domestic Discipline advocates put forward to justify husbands spanking their wives. Two, that the nature of the physical “interaction” is as mild as spanking a child or slapping a teenager. As others have noted above, they really have no clue about the realities of domestic violence. They believe that husbands just give a little “smack” and all is well.

In general then, they seem blind to the dynamics of husband/wife relationships (compared to parent/child) and how very easy it is for them to spin out of control. In particular, they seem to be blissfully ignorant of the sin condition of husbands, at least when it comes to dealing with their wives. They buy the lie that “rule over” is a command from Genesis 3 and seem to feel that “Love your wife” from Ephesians 5 is a pronouncement of the default male condition rather than a command to rise out of the real depraved condition we husbands are actually in – one that causes us to “rule over”. In other words, they can’t imagine that any act of “ruling” is anything else but “loving”. They really have got it all completely backwards.