gengwall

I agree Kaye – which is why I don’t believe that the bible actually dictates “roles”. In other words, I believe the term “biblical role” as applied to either husbands or wives is erroneous. At least there is no description of such roles in scripture.

Let’s take the example you are highlighting – the “role” of “provider/protector”. Nowhere does the bible dictate that the husband should be the sole provider or protector for the family. In fact, the bible describes several instances of provider/protector women. The proverbs 31 woman – the literal model for a godly wife – is a co-provider and protector of her family along with her husband and engages in a number of activities that “role” enthusiasts like to restrict to the husband. Such role promoters are in direct opposition to the teaching of scripture!

On the flip side, there are several OT proverbs and NT admonitions which encourage and even demand nurturing behavior out of husbands. Any suggestion that the “role” of the wife is to be the sole nurturer is equally offensive.

There is simply no instance in biblical teaching where any of the “traditional” gender based “roles” are described. None. Not one. Such roles, and even their labels (e.g. “provider/protector”, “nurturer”, “spiritual leader”, etc.) are completely man made and have no biblical support.

Now, I should add at this point that I recognize that males and females have gender specific physiologies and I believe those differences make them better suited to some specific tasks. For example, I think men are biologically better suited to physical protection and women are biologically better suited to nurturing. I also believe that men have an inner yurning to be a provider and women have an inner yurning to develop relationships. But that by no means suggests that there is such a thing as a gender specific “role” of provider, protector, or nurturer.

God designed marriage to be a one flesh covenant where the activities of daily living, the management of the household, the raising of children, and all the other parameters of married life would be shared between the two participants. Please note: that doesn’t mean they each do an equal share of each task. Nor does it mean that there are never tasks exclusively carried out by one spouse (for example, my wife pays all the bills, I do all the barbequeing). The point is that each marriage needs to figure out who is best at what and divide the labor along those lines. That includes even something as general as “decision making”. I don’t make all the decisions in our family as many hierarchists say I should. Most decisions my wife and I make together. There are a few decision areas where either she or I am the unilateral decision maker. Those areas are not defined by our gender, but by our giftedness and experience.

God’s design never, ever, designates either spouse to unilaterally carry out any task. God, in His perfect wisdom, created a covenantal institution where two people function as “one”. God’s design for marriage benefits from the unique design of each individual while combining the power of those unique designs into an institution, a whole, that is greater than the sum of its two individual parts. Because of this design, godly marriage can stand the test of time AND the winds of cultural changes and still thrive. Any designs that promote the idea that cultural paradigms or traditional arrangements constitute the ONLY valid “way” for a married couple to live are completely unbiblical. That includes any suggestion of unilateral gendered “roles”.