Cheryl Schatz

Holly,
I forgot to answer this question of yours:

Why is it do you think, that there is no same directive for the men to be “obedient to their own wives” if all things are “fair and equal” with husbands having no “authority” within a marriage relationship?

Husbands just like everyone else are told to be in subjection of “one to another” in Eph. 5:21. Wives are told to be in service and to receive service from their husbands, but they are never told to follow their husbands in obedience. Also they are never told to submit to their husband’s authority. Their submission is to a person, not to an authority. The Scriptures never once give the husband an authority over his wife. We need to ask ourselves why? We believe that the reason is that no authority of husband over wife exists and was never set up that way “in the beginning” nor is it mandated in the New Testament. Rather we are joint heirs, not hierarchical authorities. A hierarchical authority demands obedience and leaves out full submission in love, service and bonding in a one-flesh union. Submission is give and take. Hierarchy is unilateral authority with the one under the authority left with a child-like or slave-like inability to be anything other than a follower. But women are not set up as followers but as mature watchers of their home, responsible to assign duties to both children and maids so that what is under their authority will prosper and be cared for.

There is one difference in the hierarchical model of marriage than what is set up for children and slaves. Children grow up and mature away from the authority. Slaves can buy their freedom or have other people buy freedom for them to be mature citizens with their own responsibilities. But wives in the hierarchy model never “grow up”, “mature” or have their freedom “bought” to take them out from under the male authority. Yet the Scriptural model shows that we are meant to be mature, grow up and make our own decisions because in the next life we will be judging the angels. The hierarchical model proves itself to be a model of the world. The servant model of one to another is the model of the Lord Jesus. It is doing good for others and thinking of them ahead of oneself, but with the empowerment of one’s own ability to make decisions and grow to full maturity as God’s “sons” who will rule the world.

Does this make sense?