Kay

“I have been mulling things over all morning and wondered if hierarchy and relationship were incompatible.”
Dave,
I wonder if perhaps what you meant here is: if hierarchy and servanthood are compatible?

*”for one is your Master, even Christ; and all ye are brethren.” Matthew 23:8*

We cannot all be serving only one Master, if
some of us
must answer to others of us
in authority over us.

Because “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other.” Matthew 6:24
….and that is a big problem. Because as you say, in Jesus is the only place where hierarchy and relationship exist together, not in tension but in harmony.