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Mark, first you said:
“Just because there is a feminine and masculine form at the beginning of the chapter to attempt to prove that the ‘plural’ form 15 or so verses later includes both genders, is a stretch.”

Actually it isn’t a stretch at all. In Greek a masculine plural is the grammatical form used for a group of men, or a group of men and women. So the fact that the paragraph starts out specifying the presence of men AND women actually strengthens the idea that the masculine plural in v. 17 is addressed to both.

Next you said:
“On top of that verses 1-2 have nothing to do with ‘elders’. Although a similar base word is used in the greek, it does not mean that these verses ought to be tied to verse 17. The context clearly shows that it isn’t. Verse 1 and 2 are about the older men and women. Verse 17 is about elders. The two are not connected.”

It’s actually the exact same word. V. 1 uses the masculine singular ‘presbuteros’ v2 uses the feminine plural ‘presbuteras’ and v17 the masculine plural ‘presbuyteroi.’ Remember that the masculine plural is the only form that can refer to a group with both men and women in it. The fact that he has already specified both men and women in vv 1-2, and then spent vv3-16 describing the requirements and characteristics for women leaders in the congregation means that when he gets to the summary statements in vv 17-21 he is talking about the men and women who lead the congregation.

Next you insist that chapter 3 can only ever be about men. You say
“Remember that chapter 3 can only ever be masculine when Paul outlines elder qualifications. For your theory to stand strong you must some how prove that women are included in chapter 3 where Paul explicitly is talking about elders.”

Now how do you conclude that chapter 3 can only be about men unless you had already decided before you ever read chapter 3 that only men can be elders? The language of the chapter itself certainly does not support your position.
“Here is a trustworthy saying; WHOEVER aspires to be an overseer. . . .” 3:1 Note that Paul says “whoever” which is the Greek indefinite pronoun ’tis’ which means, well, anyone. It does not specify males. Next, all the verbs in the passage are the 3rd person singular form with the pronoun understood. So in your English Bible if you have a series of ‘he’ and ‘his,’ those are not present in the Greek. Greek verbs can include the person without using a specific pronoun. A correct English translation would then be ‘the person’ or ‘that person’ to indicate that no gender has been specified.

So the only possible indicator you have left is the phrase ???? ???????? ????? “mias gunaikos andra” or “husband of one wife.” This was a specific requirement for male elders because only men could have more than one wife. Legally, women could not have multiple husbands, so the only group that needed restrictions were the men.

Bear with me for a minute while I give an illustration.
Mark, do you have topless beaches in Austrialia? In Europe we do. So if I want to recruit teenagers for a beach evangelism project I might write up a list of requirements for them thus:
“Participants must be believers, must be recommended by their church, must be able to share their faith, must wear bathing suit tops at all times, must be fluent in two European languages, must raise their own support.” Anyone reading that list in my environment would know perfectly well that bathing suit tops are required for women team members. No one would insist that it means men, because bathing suit tops are not an issue for men. (Morally, anyway– no comments on sunburn, skin cancer, etc! ) Similarly, Paul’s readers, and Timothy, would know that the issue was polygyny, not polyandry, so the requirement would make perfect sense to them.

So, Mark, if you want to insist that 1 Tim 3 is only about men, the burden of proof really lies on you. The grammar and the context in no way exclude women from leadership in the church. The fact that Paul spends quite a bit of time describing exactly what the qualifications are for women leaders later in Ch 3 and again in ch 5 makes it pretty clear that women actually ARE included in church leadership.