How to justify being strict in marriage/ministry but less strict elsewhere: examples and clear teachings

Biblical examples (Deborah, David eating showbread, priests on Sabbath) push against strict over-application into society. Clear teachings in scripture only limit marriage and eldership. There is no clear teaching limiting broader society. Deborah is intentionally there, like Jesus' Sabbath examples. If marriage and ministry are intact and gender roles preserved there, the rest works itself out in church culture without needing hard rules.