Callings are mutually exclusive: husband never told to MAKE wife submit

The husband is never told to make his wife submit; the wife is never told to make her husband love her. This is where abuse prevention lies. Each spouse is to focus on their own obedience to Christ, not on policing the other. Elders must manage their children's submission (1 Timothy), but this is never said about wives. The attempt to force submission against someone's will is where abuse occurs.