TL

“Likewise complementarianism does not equal the wife forsaking who she is, what she loves, her desires and hopes and calling from God to submit to someone who has decided he is God’s oracle for the family and that only he hears from God. I know comp. and patriarchy is sometimes (I suspect you all would claim often?) enacted this way but that does not mean that it is actually that way.”

The average concept by many comps is simply that man and woman live in complementarity. For those comps, it is not what you describe above. Such beliefs do not involve husbands having the right to act when their wives strongly disagree. Such beliefs do not involve the concepts that a husband has a right and duty to expect his demands to be obeyed. IMO those types of comps are really quite egalitarian in how they live.

Most Christians who believe in Biblical equality have lived and experienced the patriarchal, hierarchical, traditional and complementarian life styles. We have not come to our beliefs blind. It is not that we have seen these concepts lived out “incorrectly”. It is that we have thoroughly researched what Scripture truly says and what the CBMW model of complementarianism is (BTW they are the originators of the concept) is contrary to the fullness of life that Scripture and God desires for all of us.