NN

To SM & Kay (501 & 502)

Let me write a very brief note to clarify a point:
You ask”

“authority = self-sacrifice, nourishing, cherishing, my life for yours[?] So is authority the English word that best captures agape used by the author and as described in Eph 5 as self-sacrificing, nourishing, cherishing?

Which is of course not the definition or meaning of authority. Rather, these are the characteristics of the Christian usage of any authority.
To use the English definition of the word – “authority: the power to determine, adjudicate, or otherwise settle issues or disputes; jurisdiction; the right to control, command, or determine.”
Which can of course be be lived out rightly or wrongly, in self-sacrifice or in selfish greed. Self-sacrificing, nourishing, cherishing – these are the characteristics of Christ’s application of authority. Just as with any other natural gift of God it can be abused (consider food, sex, accomplishments, etc.). It can be used rightly as Christ did and does (Matt 81:18) or it can be used in perversity after the manner of the Enemy (Eph 2:2, Col 1:13, etc.). Either way authority exists – the question in our lives is how it is used. And this is what the Epistles repeatedly address as practical to our edification in Christ – they do not say “have authority” – this is inherent in any hierarchical relationship. Rather we are told of our responsibilities in the matter. Just as fathers are not told to “have authority” over their children; authority is inherent in the relationship – rather fathers are told how they are to conduct this authority in a godly manner.
Husbands also are not told “have authority” – the asymmetry of the relationship makes this implicit and inescapable. Rather, they are told what to do with it; how to reflect Christ in it.