TL

”Let me say it again- all lexicons i have read say that the verb ‘submit’ has authority attached to it. ……… That verb according to lexicons denotes authority.”

Mark,
There is a difference between having one part of the range of definitions include involving authority and denoting authority. In the range of meanings in English and in Greek, the word submit CAN include authority. But it is not required.

We can see quite clearly that you are ignoring the full range of the meaning of the word because your desire is so strong for it to mean only authority. But reality is that the word submit does not only relate to situations involving authority.

”Why is the wife’s submission directly linked to the Church’s submission?”

First it is not directly linked, but given as an example. Wives are being admonished to submit to the husbands in the same manner believers submit to the Messiah who died that we might have life. They are to submit with reverence for God. As believers we are responding to Christ’s sacrificial love toward us, and in a marriage husbands are to emulate Christ’s sacrificial love toward their wives and wives are to respond to that with the same trust and acceptance that we respond to Christ. We need to find the meaning in the context of what the author is writing about.

21Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22Wives, to your husbands as to the Lord.

Here is another way to look at this. If we read these two sentences under one another we can see that Paul is basically repeating himself. First we all submit to one another out of reverence to Christ. Then without stopping his thought, Paul continues that wives also to their husbands, still keeping reverence for Christ.