TL

“Mark – I like your example because it is simple and common. But it does not prove any of your points.
For one, your wife’s submission to you in this particular example does not establish in any way that you are in authority over her”

Gengwall, actually I disagree. Maybe because I have lived that picture before, I understand what leads up to that. Plus, note Mark’s statements describing it.
1. likely the children are not allowed to leave because father has commanded it. This could be one reason why wife defers to husband for children to ask permission. Or she could be deferring everything she can to husband, which is also the sign of a humbled wife.
2. The fact that wife always defers to husband is not innocent of influence. Wife may have learned that life is easier if she does this. I’ve seen this often enough.
3. An atmosphere in which no one is allowed to leave the table until everyone is through eating and father is in charge of when anyone can leave, is very authoritative.

Mark describes himself as head and leader. He believes his wife defers to him in order to show that “Father” leads the home. It appears that Mark takes some pride in the fact that he doesn’t have to command his wife to defer to him, but that she does so voluntarily in order to show his authority. All of this describes an atmosphere of authority and submission. Quite true.

However, you may have noted that a wife can defer to a husband without it being about the husband’s authority. And a husband can defer to his wife without it being about her authority. Quite true. But would you actually take pride in not allowing anyone to leave the dinner table until everyone had finished eating? Maybe you might do that for a particular dinner, but my guess is not as a required routine. That could get really old and tiring. IMO the whole atmosphere of authority submission get’s old and tiring. It IS INDEED role playing as the French call it. I’ve lived a bit of that in my youth, and some of it as a spouse.

But then I concede that some people enjoy being boss and some people enjoy being bossed. It is their choice.

The end line though is that type of living is not prescribed in Scripture. Everyone is really allowed to organize their marriage however they choose with minimal guidelines. How anyone can get an authority submission marital paradigm out of Ephesians is an interesting mystery.