Kristen

Mark said,
“The way i see it in our western egalitarian, non-authority culture, children no longer have respect. Our children run wildly around since they are taught that there is no such thing as authority- this is a direct result of our culture and you want me to push my children head-long into it.”
In our household, both my husband and I encourage the children’s respect for the authority of the other. Our children respect both their father and their mother.
I wanted to ask for clarification in the example you gave, Mark. You said the children were at the table with your wife and you both present. The children asked their mother for permission to leave the table– with you present– and she told them to ask you. Is that right? It seems to me that your children must also respect their mother’s authority in the home, or they would have simply bypassed her and asked you directly. This is why I don’t think the situation TL describes (poignantly, from her own experience) applies in your home– for if your wife were “humbled” in that way, the children would know that it’s no use asking the mother anything, because only the father has any say. Since your children plainly do NOT know this, I agree with Cheryl that you are a good man who teaches the children to “honor your father AND your mother.” Sadly, many marriages use the doctrines of complementarianism to divest the wife of honor. There are homes in which “honor your father and mother” is lived out as if it said “children and mothers, honor the father.” I’m glad for TL’s input, because she shows how easily this can happen, if these doctrines are taken too far. I am glad you do not take them too far. Kudos to you.
But a Christian egalitarian marriage does NOT mean a no-authority family where the children run wild. It means that both the husband and the wife have equal authority over the children.