Cheryl Schatz

Mark,
You said:

In this process, i did not ignore her, abuse her, not take her feelings etc into account. Simply when an authoritative decision is to be made for us or our family, i make it.

May I ask if you made the “authoritative decision” to do what she wanted to do or did you make the decision to do what you wanted to do?

If i choose to make a decision deliberately to antogonise my wife, or to make life harder for her, is that reflecting Christ-no it is not.

How about if you make a decision that you want to do but you don’t do it deliberately to antagonize her, but you still did not choose what she wanted. Do you believe that is reflecting Christ to her since you know better than she does what is good for her? Or how would you explain how your decision which is opposite of hers would reflect Christ to her?

My decisions and thus authority, i always try to manage in a Christ like way.

Actually, if I may be so bold to say, that it isn’t your authority. It seems to me that you have no authority unless she gives it to you. If you do still have authority if she doesn’t surrender it to you, then how is that shown?

It is rare that I get to see inside a complementarian’s brain and try to understand how they think. I really appreciate being able to ask questions and any answers that you can give would be much appreciated. I think that we all appreciate knowing how and why you consider yourself to have authority of yourself. It sure seems to me that unless your wife gives you hew “right” to make a decision, thus empowering you, that you don’t really have any authority at all. Perhaps I am wrong about this but I fail to see how. Maybe you can enlighten me.