Craig

In the interests of accuracy, I probably should just address a couple of things, although they may not have much bearing on the overall discussion.
Gengwall @168
You quoted me
“This idea of authority is new to me. The most “authority” meant to me was that if some situation arose (and it never did) where my wife and I couldn’t come to some mutual agreement after prayer, discussion, time, counsel etc, I would be responsible to make the decision.”
You said
“And I would respond that you neither have “made the decision” or exercised “authority” in this scenario.”
I would totally agree. The situation never arose for me to have to make the decision or exercise authority.
You continued
“Aren’t the phrases “mutual agreement” and “mutual decision” the same? Or are you saying that you would declare “I have decided that we will do the thing we mutually agreed to do”? Doesn’t that sound rediculous? Nor is any authority exercised because there is noone to exercise it over – your wife and you are in agreement.”
Not sure what you are getting at. I would have always said we mutually agreed on things, and mutually decided- no authority was exercised. I would never have tried to claim some “leadership points” (if that is what you are meaning) by saying “I have decided that we will do the thing we mutually agreed to do.” Maybe “soft” comp is too “hard” 🙂 to describe the way we operated. I have said before that in practice, from day to day, our marriage has operated more like an egal marriage. I remember discussing in bible study groups a few times just what this “authority” looked like. The best we could come up with was that I had an authority card up my sleeve, but it has never been used or been remotely necessary. I have hardly even thought about it, unless someone else raised the subject and I had to think about it.