Cindy Meyers

I am a complementarian but am a Christian first and feel compelled to express myself in the Spirit of Christ because I believe it matters even more than the subject we are addressing. I am a woman who has been married to an unbeliever for 30 years. I came to faith after my marriage and had no teaching about any of this and had lots of advice from all fronts! I tried lots of ways to live (happily) with my husband but it was stressful and painful until I heard a well-respected Christian woman uphold the teaching of Ephesians 5, Titus 2 and 1 Peter 3. When these Truths were expounded on the way she did it, the scales fell from my eyes and my heart (even though my will was still very stubborn), and I chose, by God’s grace, to obey what the Holy Spirit laid out before me. The result was a gradual healing of the tension between me and my husband and, while he is not yet a believer, the beautiful change in him is unmistakeable and I am reaping wonderful benefits.. Praise God!! God is blessing me and us through, not submission to my husband ultimately but, submission to the true interpretation of God’s heart and Word. Ladies (and gentlemen), I have found that it always comes down to our attitude. Is it a yielding, giving, surrendered Spirit or is it an angry, hostile, resistant spirit. I look at the highest calling Jesus gave, which was to love one another and keep His commandments. I look at the fruit of the Spirit and examine my outlook based on those characteristics in my life. Is my viewpoint making me more loving, joyful, peaceful, long-suffering, gentle, good, meek, faithful and self-controlled? Am I becoming more of a servant or more of a tyrant? The complementarian model is not a threat to women. It elevates women. Our problem is that we so easily look at this issue through the lens of our sin and become convinced that men are using this for their benefit (and, like always, it’s the few who do that ruin the beauty of how God meant it to be) when those who aren’t are trying to demonstrate to women, especially their own wives, how this is meant to be a picture of Christ’s love for the church. For the men, it’s a high, high calling to “lay down their lives” for their wives. The trouble is that many men haven’t gotten that far and besmurch the true, Biblical picture of a godly marriage. Anyway, sorry to have gone on so long but I wanted to help shine a light on this because I understand where you all are coming from and have been introduced and experienced the blessings of complementarianism in my own home and life enough to know that it is, truly, God’s way. It has nothing to do with inequality but everything to do with roles. Only one person can be President of the United States. Only one person can be a husband, a Father. God has distinct and divine purposes for each gender and when accepted and embraced, the functions of the family and church operate so much more smoothly. God bless you all.

In Christ’s love,
Cindy