Cheryl Schatz

Lin,

You asked:

Really, we are seeing more of this from other Christians than we are from the secular world: Name calling, hate, sarcasm, lording it over, deception, lying, etc. All of this to advance a secondary doctrine that we should NOT divide over to a primary position that is drawing more lines in the sand. Why?

I have pondered these same questions and I think what is happening is that some Christians are so connected to their own “pet” doctrines that any attempt at trying to pull at their security blanket brings a very hostile response. Their comfort zone requires that their “pet” doctrine is not challenged especially not with well thought-out questions that give them trouble.

I know a man who had problems as a child because he was small compared to all the other boys. He was the last one to be picked when teams were chosen and he felt threatened in his manhood as he grew up. If he was playing a game with his wife and he lost he would throw the board game. If he lost a game of racquetball against his wife, he would throw the racket across the court in anger. It was humiliating for him that he wasn’t good enough to win even against a female.

Men who have this attitude will hold onto the one doctrine that gives them an “edge” against women. They are blessed to be of the gender that gets to be the teachers, rule others and be in some way superior. If they feel in some way inferior to other males at least they get to feel that there is a group of people (women) who are below them so they are no longer the bottom of the pile. Yet in Christianity we are taught that we are to see others as better than ourselves. We are also taught to submit to one another’s gifts because no eye can say to the hand “I do not need you”.

It is difficult for a man who has a normal tendency to have a big ego, to humble himself to fully embrace a doctrine that will not allow him to keep that big ego. It is comfortable for them to see build their egos instead and claim that this is a sign of maturity instead of immaturity in the Christian faith.

You also asked:

“If this is not of the flesh, then what is? How could we ever ‘worship’ in Spirit and Truth with folks who do such things?”

The only answer I have here is that it is all about grace. God’s grace. In the natural it may be impossible but with God all things are possible.

I remember when I was still studying the scriptures on the hard passages regarding women and I was listening to and reading the arguments of complementarians. The way they focused on one or two verses taken apart from their context started to make me ill. As I listened to more and more audio tapes and read more and more from their point of view, I could clearly see how they were making unwarranted applications from verses taken out of context and the applications were restrictive, Talmudic in nature and they were responsible for taking away my joy in serving God. This caused me to not want to read or listen to anything else these men had to say even when it was on a different topic. I mentioned this to a pastor’s wife and she responded back to me with grace and wisdom. She said that I needed to come to a point where I could see outside my own prejudice and learn from and appreciate these men in the areas that they had things to teach me. At that time I was too tender to ever believe that I could read from these men and appreciate their gifts when they were so wrong in this one area. I have changed. It has become a real maturity issue for me personally. I have now come full circle and although I can still see their glaring errors in the women’s issue, I can appreciate the truth that they share in areas where they are gifted. I can celebrate that strong doctrinal stand some of them take against other false doctrines and I can rejoice with them. Truly I have come to the place where I can honestly say that as scriptures says, the eye cannot say to the hand “I don’t need you”. I have come to believe that I need everyone that is in the body of Christ. I am learning how to love each one of them while still strongly contending for the truth of scripture that they have not yet learned. They belong to Christ as I do and if I can have grace in dealing with them, then God will grow me to maturity in order to love the sometimes unlovable. In the end I know that I too need to receive God’s grace.

If by saying this I offend anyone who is still at the stage that I was a few years ago, let me encourage you to work on getting past your hurt. These men are not easy to love because they attack us, discredit our motives and stop us from participating in our areas of gifting. We can call them to account and earnestly contend for the truth of scripture but we are not to hate them. One day these men WILL love and accept us. It may not be this side of heaven, but it will happen because the body of Christ will be united, will be one and will be completely filled with love for one another. One day.