Mike

Hi Cheryl,
Cool site.  I agree that your listed myths are just that.  Being new to your site, I’m getting up to speed on your hosted discussions and the many folks who participate.
I probably bring a little different perspective – forgive me for any ignorance I may express – I make no claims to be expert in any of this, but would appreciate the opportunity to participate.
I had a profound experience when I got saved as a sailor aboard a ship – several years went by before I set foot inside of any church; only having the bible and my relationship with him to draw from.  I’ve been saved for over 25 years now – but have struggled with church and its associated issues. 
I’ve met some of the most powerful women on the planet and heard them minister the word, work miracles, etc.  I don’t have any issues there.  I have also noticed that many women who are trying to break out of this seeming prison that the church has created, come across as dis-enfranchised and a bit cutting when expressing who they are in the church.  I’m not so sure that that approach is the wisest…  is that ok to say?
I had my own church for awhile, along with several real powerful street type ministries and missions, and I had two ladies who were just awesome.  I didn’t have any problems with them teaching, preaching, bearing major responsibilities within our realm of ministry.  They did great – one had a heathen husband, and the other’s wasn’t the brightest light bulb in the room – knowadumean..?
But they both were very gracious and didn’t let their femininity get in the way.  I know they were criticized a lot by other churches’ members, and they shared their own testimonies of growing up in the church – sounded really bad.  I respected them for who they were as people.
I’ve been married over 20 years to the same woman – I can say that we are having some real problems right now – we lost our oldest son at 22 years of age to a commercial diving accident during hurricane Katrina recovery, she lost both of her parents to cancer within the last year, I recently lost my job, and my house is going to auction this Thursday, can’t pay the mortgage any more…  reader’s digest version…
I was horrified me to see how the church (many that we’ve been affiliated with for years) has handled us and our trials.  I can’t tell you how many women of God have told her to leave me – because I’m worthless; or how many men of God have told me to let her go because she isn’t worthy, not submitting to me and all.  It has really hurt us – but you know what, the bottom line is that I really love her and she really loves me…
We don’t always get it right, and we fight from time to time – we wrestle with what is the right answer, who should make this decision, and how does authority, order, etc., play into all of this.  I can tell you; when you’re in the soup, its nice to know that your brothers and sisters (even if they’re your wife or husband) don’t make these the primary issues, but rather love you for who and where you are, and genuinely support you – teach you, give you resources, pitch in a helping hand, pray for you, forgive you, etc…
I can honestly say that my wife is the most powerful woman of God I’ve ever met in my life – and she would (and usually does) run circles around me and probably most of you when it comes to ministry.  It doesn’t intimidate me one bit, I thrive on watching her express who she is in Christ, it is genuinely exciting to watch; and I’m always amazed.  She plays to her strength, I play to mine and the Lord acts as the conductor to this great orchestra, leading it to accomplish his desires.  Its not without its trials however, and I would admonish any who dare try what we are doing to be forewarned, its not for the faint of heart…  😉
I would like to see a lot more grace in the church.  If a man or a woman has something to share, from their unique, god-given perspective, I say share it to whomever is available – we all need what you got – male or female – we are different, we think different, we experience life differently, but lets try and find a way to allow expression for all of that – I say, stop worrying about who is in charge, or who’s who in the zoo – let people be who they are, we need every gift, every anointing, every call, every talent, etc. – all hands on deck right now – this world is going down fast, and we are all arguing about silly things in the church…  sorry, that was me venting – not necessarily to you  😉
Most of what you are all discussing seems to me like it falls within the confines of the structures that we’ve created – church structures, leadership structures, educational structures, and even home structures.  I honestly don’t buy most of it.  The Bible and its teaching transcends time, culture, lifestyle, geography, etc.  Its not bound the way we think it is.  Jesus never meant to imprison us in our own self made structures, but to embolden us to be his ambassadors to care for a lost and dying world.
So, I’m not sure where I fall within your structures – but I hope you find a way to liberate folks from them – both men and women – freedom is an awesome responsibility – respect it, love it, perpetuate it – that is my humble opinion…  MM