Cheryl Schatz

Mike,

I want to give you a hearty welcome!  You are welcome here no matter whether you agree with us or not.  There is a special community here of both men and women who care about others and I hope that we can help you in some way.

I am sorry that you have so many struggles right now and that other Christians have made your suffering even worse instead of holding you up in prayer and other support.   the fact that you say you love your wife and she loves you and you are still together even through all that you have been through is a very strong point showing that others may be judging unjustly from outside the marriage looking in.

You said:

We don’t always get it right, and we fight from time to time – we wrestle with what is the right answer, who should make this decision, and how does authority, order, etc., play into all of this.

In most marriages we are in a “dance” together where we need to continue to work together giving of ourselves so that we have a one-flesh union.  It isn’t always easy.  As far as who has the authority, that is a little like asking which part of the body should go through the door first.  If you lean forward so that your head goes through the door first, you may fall on your face.  If you lean back so that both of your feet go through the door first, you may fall backwards.  Marriage shouldn’t be an issue of authority or who is first, but working hard to be a united force.  It this unity it only seems logical that the one who is gifted in an area should make the decisions in that area.  Yet opposition from one spouse is a perfect opportunity to bow the knees in prayer and ask the Lord to intervene and give unity.  There should be many opportunities to serve the other spouse with cheerful submission or cheerful sacrifice.

You said:

I can tell you; when you’re in the soup, its nice to know that your brothers and sisters (even if they’re your wife or husband) don’t make these the primary issues, but rather love you for who and where you are, and genuinely support you – teach you, give you resources, pitch in a helping hand, pray for you, forgive you, etc…

This in realty is all about grace which we as a church should have more of for one another.

You said:

If a man or a woman has something to share, from their unique, god-given perspective, I say share it to whomever is available – we all need what you got – male or female – we are different, we think different, we experience life differently, but lets try and find a way to allow expression for all of that – I say, stop worrying about who is in charge, or who’s who in the zoo – let people be who they are, we need every gift, every anointing, every call, every talent, etc. – all hands on deck right now –

Amen!

So, I’m not sure where I fall within your structures – but I hope you find a way to liberate folks from them – both men and women – freedom is an awesome responsibility – respect it, love it, perpetuate it – that is my humble opinion…  MM

I am not so big myself on unbendable “structures”.  A foot works best for walking and jumping and kicking but if a hand is missing, the toes can pick up the slack and they can be used to feed the body.  Where I used to work there was a lady who did not have any arms.  She did all of her work – typing, filing, etc with her feet.  No one told her that she wasn’t allowed to do that because her feet were not hands.  The job got done and she was an encouragement to us.

Mike, freedom indeed is an awesome responsibility.  We should not flaunt our freedom, but we should thank God for it and use our freedom to help others be free as well.