Kay

What follows is a comment I made on Mike’s blog entry for April titled “Figure Skating Toward Biblical Roles.” Please let me know if this sounds unkind in any way – I may need to quit reading through his blog. I do not want to sound super-critical.

“Like you, I once loved a romantic, fairytale, happily-ever-after story the way you appear to, but then real life began to happen. Brother, even THE most Christian of marriages between God loving spouses can and do encounter circumstances and tragedies beyond their control that render the husband unable to lead anyone. My perspective regarding husbands having the protector/provider leader role is not the same because of situations I’ve encountered in the lives of Christian friends and family members with disabilities, illness and aging who cannot fulfill that even if they wanted to.

If a “biblical role” can have even one small exception, then how can it possibly be a command for every marriage?

How could this possibly apply to the life of my friend whose Christian husband suffered a head injury in an auto accident that has left him in a near vegetative state? She has no loving choice, but the one God has given her – to lead, protect and provide for her husband. My grandmother also walked a very similar road for the last 15 years of my grandfather’s life as his mind and then body were overtaken by Alzheimer’s. My brother-in-law developed bipolar disorder many years ago and so his wife has never had the luxury of depending upon her husband. On the contrary though, she has developed a wonderful dependence upon her Lord and Savior. Or what of my cousin whose husband was killed in Viet Nam and she raised two children on her own? I could go on, but I think you can see my point – marriage simply isn’t always like a perfectly executed skating performance. And the longer I live the more clearly I see that.

I believe this is why the Lord didn’t leave us with a book called “Formulas for the Perfect Christian life” or Bible chapters called “The Only Role of Men” and “The Only Role of Women.” But He did tell us to love one another as He loves us and to walk in the Spirit.

And speaking of the Spirit – I do hope you can read this in loving spirit it was intended. “