Alison

I have the spoon, Hannah, and I’m gagging on it. The mental gymnastics some of the comps go through in order to cling to the sacred cow of male headship would make any Olympian dizzy!

The fact is that use of authority chokes out intimacy. If one partner is always domineering, there is no room for real respect and communication to take hold, since the one being dominated will often resort to manipulation in order to gain something of what they want (even if it’s not all of what they want). The one doing the dominating has no idea of how blind he or she is to the needs of the one being dominated, and, in being so blind, cannot respond in compassion, but only anger and recrimination, resorting to their “trump card” in order to “put the other person back in his/her place”.

Is it any wonder, then, that in these types of situations, there is no real room for agreement, or the wonderful “symphony” that the Greek of 1 Corinthians 7 talks about? I think that a situation of mutual submission is one that really glorifies God, as each partner sets him or herself aside as he or she seeks the good of the other. After all, doesn’t Philippians 2:3-4 (which I think is a phenomenal text for marriage) call all of us as Christians to do just that? A dominating partner can’t empty him or herself, nor can the one being dominated, since they are both striving after what they want, forgetting that what they want as individuals needs to take a backseat to strengthening the relationship, and a significant backseat to glorifying God. So, burn the “male entitlement” card. It has no place in a Christ-honoring marriage.