Nicole

I resisted the urge to ask what to do if the roles were reversed, if it was the wife itching to go to Afghanistan and the husband refused. But of course, that would mean that she was mistaken in her understanding.

Tamara (on the blog’s comments) said it so well,

“This was a great blog post, but wow, some of these comments are really, really painful to read. God had already made the dog before He created Eve… and God is the one who said it wasn’t a suitable mate for him… so lets not think of wives as ‘companions’ that God calls to go where and do what they are told. Submission is not about ‘obedience’… it is about selflessness. So is ‘laying down your life’, by the way, which is how Christ loved the church. Absolutely, we have got it really messed up on both sides, and we are very defensive and self-protecting. We are disobedient, that is true. But God deals with us when we are, doesn’t He? Doesn’t He love us enough to correct us, to encourage us, to affirm His will to us? If you are a person too headstrong to hear the voice of God or to receive His correction, then maybe you have no business being on the missionfield anyway. Unless you’re Jonah.

Is it really possible that some husbands don’t honestly realize that God also speaks to their wives? How can it be so unfathomable to a husband that God also gives to his wife (the one he loves and cherishes) her own unique spiritual burdens, truth, wisdom, visions, passions and callings, all of which she is called to humbly lay before the Lord with open hands? ALL things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purposes. Sometimes we think God is calling us to something, but what God really wants is to teach us something… to reveal something of Himself and His nature to us, to build character in us, to teach us what it means to love, to purify us of our vanity, our selfish ambition and our sentimental notions of who He is and what He is truly calling us to. If a husband cannot first lay down his life for his beloved wife – the one person he vowed before God to honor, care for and forsake all others for – how can he ever hope to reveal Jesus to a stranger? He hasn’t begun to understand his calling as a man of God, as a husband, as spiritual leader in the home.

If there is any missionfield today, I think it is the marriage. I pray that God will have compassion on us, and stir the hearts of men and women from the far corners of the earth, to come to us and speak the gospel to us here in North America! God clearly stated that the marriage is God’s clearest picture – the image bearer – of Christ’s relationship with the church. It is not supposed to be about control, power and authority, but about love, sacrifice and mutual submission. Like most other of God’s profound mysteries, we have absolutely ravaged that picture. Some of ya’ll are making Jesus sound like an abusive husband, and I pray that in His mercy He will pour out His lavish love upon you, that they eyes of your heart may be opened to see the mystery of His heart towards you, His bride!”

I totally agree with her. Another commenter pointed out that statistically, it would more likely be the man who refused to go on missions based on both the % of men in the church and the fact that single female missionaries far exceed single male missionaries.

Of course spouses can be selfish and materialistic, marriage does not cure one of sinful humanity.